the internal bitch

i'm taking a break from complaining...a 21 day fast from letting negativity and bitching fall from my mouth...and it's starting to get interesting.

just as there are external and internal detox reactions during a physical fast, i'm starting to notice a shift in my head...

yesterday i boarded a plane back to austin from l.a. after a work weekend, and i found myself in a mood. i held true to my commitment and kept my mouth shut...and then i noticed how much complaining naturally takes place between my ears.

so i got to work...instead of fueling the cycle with antagonism and analysis, i chanted. i chose a mantra, closed my eyes, and chanted silently while watching the brat in my brain throw an unwarranted temper tantrum.

before i knew it, i was asleep, dreaming the battle into bliss, and when i awoke, i felt much better. i chose a new attitude, and the perspective of that new vantage point allowed me to see more clearly how lucky i am. i watched the sun set below the horizon of clouds, then bliss overtook me as we dipped down through that white horizon to float above fields of green and gold below.

the bitch and the bliss...all rolled into one whole human.

love this life.